Crazy

I feel so selfish. I feel like the biggest douche ever. I was just going through some of the blogs that I have subscribed to, some marine spouses, some gold star spouses, and I was reading some updates from my fellow marine wives who have been dealt the widow card in this sick game that God plays on us called the Marine Corps. I feel so selfish. Here they are, these women who are just like me, in nearly every way, except they know what they had and they know what they lost. Here I am, a complete and total idiot, threatening to leave my marine while he is on a deployment. What the fuck is wrong with me? I only want to hear what these women have to say to me. They will NEVER get to see their husbands again. They will never get to experience a homecoming or the feeling of their love coming back to them. And I was actually going to leave mine.