We broke 40

Its finally 39 days until Jordan's unofficial return date. At this point, I'm really more nervous than excited. If you go back through my posts, I was like this at this time last year as well. Everything has changed at the house and I'm scared that Jordan is going to come here and everything is going to be too different and he's not going to feel at home. I mean, he hasn't seen the fence. He hasn't seen the desk or the computer in the office. He hasn't seen Isaac's new cage. There's 5 months of change that he hasn't been present for. Keep in mind that he only lived in this house a month before he left. Gosh, it's so weird. It feels so weird thinking that I've lived here nearly 6 months and he's only lived here one. So it's going to be so different for him. I really hope that he feels comfortable here. It must be a difficult adjustment when it's not a new house, you know what I mean?

My dad made some excellent points in one conversation we were having about why Jordan and I are having such a difficult period in our marriage.

1. Jordan and I have been apart for most of our marriage. It's not so much the distance that affects the relationship as the change that we're both experiencing while we're apart. Communication is an important part of keeping it together, but it's impossible to communicate a change in character as it gradually happens, especially when you're not realizing it. Jordan and I are growing up. Unfortunatly, we're doing it apart from each other and it complicates a relationship when your partner and yourself are growing into adults in two seperate countries.

2. The gap between the deployments wasn't long enough. Jordan returned from Afghanistan in Nov. of 2009, and was deployed again in May 2010. That's a 6 month gap. That's everything that we missed in a 7 month long deployment, crammed into a 6 month time period. It just wasn't enough time. We were just barely getting to know each other again when he was packing for his next deployment. I was just barely getting used to having someone around the house with me, when he was sent away again.

I haven't posted anything in a while. I'm sorry about that. I do need to work on my consistency in my posts. I really can't wait for October to get here. It's my favorite month.