My Roar

I used to think when I started dating Jordan, that I needed to join the marines myself in order to be a strong enough wife for him. I needed to BE a marine myself in order to be with him, to be able to support him, or be there for him. So I started the motions to join the Marine Corps. I thought for sure that this was what I had to do to be strong. I didn't end up joining.

Now, looking back, as a marine wife for 3.5 years and a civilian dependent of my husband, I realize how mistaken I was. I thought that I needed to be IN the military to be strong, well, working on my husbands third deployment, I'm realizing that I am so much stronger than I could ever have imagined I would be. I am strong. I didn't need to join the marines and go to boot camp to get this way. I draw my strength from other places: God, my husband, my family. And my husbands strength lies in me. It lies in the knowlege that I am here, safe, and taking care of everything that he cares about while he is away. It's strength that keeps me sane on the lonely nights. It's strength that keeps me moving when all I feel like doing is giving up. It's strength that keeps me living each day while he's gone.

If I had joined the Marines, I couldn't nearly be the woman that Jordan needs to support him. He would know, I would know, that the Marine Corps. is my first and foremost priority. Just like him. We would have that bond, of course, but I couldn't be there for him nearly as much as I can as a civilian. I'm glad I didn't join. I'm glad that instead of standing next to him, I stand behind him. If I stand behind my husband, I will,  without any shadow of a doubt, catch him if he falls.

And that is my job. I support him. I am the rock. I am the constant. I am all who remains, if the entire world walks out. it's my face that he will always see. I am proud of that.

And there is nothing more important to me than that man.