My biggest fear

My biggest fear is that one day I will not remember Jordan. I will not remember our wedding, our anniversaries, holding his hand, kissing his lips, looking into his eyes and loving him with my whole heart. I'm terrified that one day I'm going to look at him and not know who he is, not remember his name, or his favorite color, or the comfort his voice gives me. I'm terrified of this not because of me, not only because of what I will be losing, but of the pain it will cause him. I never want to see that agony. I never want to hurt him like that. I never want to ask who he is and have him feel the torment of having to tell me. The thought of it literally makes me nausious. It makes me want to throw up.