How I'm holding up

I drove him to the airport. He didn't really feel like driving, so we took my car and I drove the speed limit to the New Bern airport. We waited around for a little while. We had an hour or so before his flight was to leave, so he ate at the snack bar and I just held his hand. The anticipation was overwhelming. I hate waiting. Anyway. I kept it together. I was doing so good until they called for his flight to start boarding. Then, I kind of lost it. Everything is blurry then. It was just him and me. I kept hugging him. oh god and I just couldn't stop touching him. I knew that tears were pouring down my face and my voice was cracking and that it wasn't doing any good because I knew how much he hates to see me cry. I know how much he hates leaving me in tears and how much he wishes he could do something about it, but can't. As soon as he passed security, I was out of there. I had to leave. I couldn't stand it. The drive home was rather dangerous. I was crying hysterically and I could hardly see the road. I was angry that I let him see my like that, and in agony at watching him go. When I got home, I stopped crying. I talked to my friend Brittany and she came over that evening for a good old fashioned girls night. Lots of chocolate and ice cream and drinks. I also went to Lexi's training class with no hitch.

So that's the detailed version of what happened on Monday. I was in no state to write it then, so here it is now.

Yesterday was really dull. I absolutely did nothing all day long. It was good for me, but today it's time to wake up. I have to go to work and pretend like everything is fine and I'm going to have to pretend like I like it. The world hasn't stopped moving. And my co workers couldn't care less about Jordan leaving. So I need to try my hardest to get over it. Jordan hasn't called me since Monday. I also need to be patient.

Jordan's parents left today. I was quite sad to see them go. I hope they have a good and safe trip back to Indy.