Today I went to church. That's something I do mostly out of habit these days. I wouldn't exactly call it a pleasant experience. I suppose I could compare it to a gentle interrogation. The constant, "How are you holding up?", "How are you doing?", "Have you heard from your husband?" and always the same, rehearsed answers, "I'm doing well, yes I've heard from him, he's doing well, I'm holding up just fine, thank you," Well, today, I said something different. When someone asked me how I was, I finally just told the truth.
I am not okay. I will not be completely okay until my husband is safely in my arms again. When wives say they are "okay" they either want you to shut up, or they are exactly that, just okay. Not good, not even average, just okay. I don't like pretending like my life is perfectly fine without Jordan, but I'm not going to advertise my pain either. I'd really just prefer if people would just leave me be. Accept that I am lonely and sad, and move on.
Anyway, today I watched G. I. Joe at the base theater. It was a full house. I was impressed with the turnout. Not, however, with the movie. It was really corny, and predictable, and not in the good way, in the rolling-your-eyes-I-can't-believe-he-just-said-that- way. Very lame. very lame.
Jordan hasn't called in two days now. I am a little upset with him. I do know that its not his fault they're in Rivercity, it's just he had plenty of opportunities to call me before then, but he didn't take them and now he can't call me. Hopefully he calls me before work tomorrow, or I will be very distraught. I miss his voice.
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