Ready? Go.

Okay. He's gone. Today is officially Day 1.

Yesterday was a very long day. I'm extremely grateful for that, because I felt like I had him longer the last hours. We woke up at 0900 and took me to a job interview that I had at the Troop store on base. The interview went very well in my opinion. I came out of the store and J had a basket of nachos in his lap. lol Nachos are a wonderful breakfast, no? Anyway, when we got back home, he finished packing his bags and we set them aside and cleaned the house up a little. I figured that the last thing I'm going to be wanting to be doing the next few days is cleaning.

He wanted to see some motorcycles one more time before he left, so we went down to Morehead City and went to the motorcycle dealer there. Then, we grabbed some Taco Bell and sat by the water and watched Atlantic Beach from across the waterway. After we ate, we headed back home and then hung out for a while. We watched a movie and then some How I Met Your Mother. He cuddled Lexi, and then I glanced at my watch and it was already 2200.

He changed out of his civilian clothes and packed them in his bags, then said goodbye to Lex and Chivas and we left to go to his Squadron. We got there and he had to copy some stuff to a disk in his office, so we sat in there for a while. Then we came out and sat by the car and just waited.

At like 0100, they started loading onto the bus and I felt like my world was falling apart. I was holding him and I felt like I couldn't let go. I felt like my heart was being ripped out. When I gave him that last kiss, he left and I watched him sitting on the bus. He watched me and I tried not to let him see me falling to pieces. Then, the buses pulled out and we all watched them go.

I don't know what I would have done if Jourdan hadn't been there. I needed her more than I thought I was going to. I need my friends while he's gone. They are the only things that make me feel like I might not die.

I miss him so much.