I talked so much shit about Isaac. I mean, he wasn't nice, he wasn't particularly friendly at all, so I talked shit about him. He wasn't my favorite animal. I never really realized how much I really cared about him until yesterday when the vet suggested we put him down. My heart constricted. I felt like I had no breath. We couldn't lose Isaac. He was Isaac. He's a staple in this family. He's always been the angry bunny in the background. We've had him for four years now.
But the infection in his ears had spread to his brain. He was showing really severe neurological problems. Even if the vet managed to help the infection, the damage would be too much for him to make a complete recovery. He might not be able to walk, he would probably have had seizures. He would have been in constant discomfort. We had to make that decision.
Holding him in that exam room, just petting him, talking to him, singing to him, knowing that those were our last moments with him...there are no words to describe that sadness. You can't explain to him what's going to happen. You can't explain why Mommy and Daddy are so sad or why he is getting so sleepy. You can't explain to him that he was the best rabbit anyone could ask for. You can't explain how much we loved him.
I realized last night that Isaac was not just a rabbit. He was not just the bunny in the cage. He was our Isaac. I know that he's happy now. I know he's prancing and dancing around with Ninja and in a big grassy field. He's not falling over or having trouble walking. He's not in pain or any discomfort. He's happy again.