This sucks

This is the last night I will be able to hold him in my arms.

How am I feeling?

Pretty bummed. I want to savor each moment and each touch and each kiss, but I know that it will make it all the more awful once he's gone. In all honesty, I wish I didn't know what to expect. I wish that I didn't know that the day after he leaves wasn't going to be the worst day in the whole deployment. I wish that I didn't know that I am going to cry all night tomorrow and I'm not going to be able to sleep for a while. I wish that I didn't know that it's going to get a million times worse before it will get any better.

Ignorance sometimes truly is bliss.