Fur babies

As you may know, I do not have children. In my life, though, the closest that comes is my pets. Jordan and I have 4.

It's easy to forget that animals are not just animals sometimes. It's easy to think of them almost as unimportant or a subliminal addition to any household. But I look at my dog, my beautiful, loyal, crazy, dog and I feel how much she means to me. I feel how important her role is in our family. She never ceases to accidentally remind me. With a calming nudge with her nose, with a playful bark, a slobbery toy, or even the occasional chewed up mess. I feel how much she cares for me by just her presence and her absolute, unhindered adoration; along with her undying forgivness. No matter what happens in this world, Lex is always up for cuddling on the couch at the end of the day. That bond that I see in her eyes often makes me wonder if she's a person trapped in a dogs body. I also feel that bond with the loss of a pet. When Jordan and I lost our rabbits, feeling that overwhelming sadness and that awful sinking depression in your gut, knowing that there was nothing you could have done to save them; it just tears your heart to shreds. You want so much to do everything in your power to help them, but nothing in your power is good enough. It's tied into the fact that they're counting on you. That they're sole existance is a direct correlation to your responsibility. Seeing them like that and being so utterly and completely helpless is just terrible, because you feel like you should have sheltered them from it. It was your job to protect them, and you failed. So, when Lexi gets out of the fence, and starts running loose around the block, I get a prickling of fear in my heart. It's what motivates me to stay out there to catch her. I'm afraid I'm going to lose her and I love her so much. A lot of people don't understand. They don't have pets or they just don't feel the same way about theirs, but these animals are my children, until I have real children. I care about their safety and their well-being. I care when they're happy. I care when they're sad. What hurts them hurts me, what makes them happy makes me happy. (Aside from drinking out of the toilet)