It's so sad dude

I sit at the computer and wait before work. I rush to the computer after work. I desperately click and reclick the refresh button on my inbox.

Still nothing.


And every time I check the inbox and there's nothing from him, I feel so pathetic. I feel desperate. Embarassed, sad, lonely, foolish, obsessive...the list goes on. Why???

Why is he doing this to me? Why can't he just send one e mail? I understood the reasons he had for not being able to call, but I can't understand this. I just can't understand what reasoning he would have to not e mail me in 2 days. It hurts. I feel like he doesn't care and that hurts. I mean, this shit is easy for him, he gets e mails from me every ten seconds. Why can't he see that I need to hear from him? I need to hear that he misses me. I need to hear that he wants to come home. I need to hear that he loves me.

I've done everything I can. I've told him my problem and I've told him I need to hear from him. I don't know how much more I can do.