I suppose I should update all who are following my blog as to what my life has been like in the past few weeks. Not like it's important, but whatever.
1. I had a complete mental/nervous breakdown today. It was pretty bad. I blacked out for a little bit as well. You know that things are bad when you actually lose consciousness...and your happy about it. I'm not entirely sure what triggered it, but suddenly wave after wave of stress came pouring on top of me and I absolutely could not take it. I just sat on the ground rocking and moaning, crying and gasping for breath until I just slumped onto the rug where I woke up nearly two minutes later. Wonderful right? I'm not going to go into detail about what the stresses were that sent me over the edge. I'm not interested in triggering another episode.
2. Jordan and I had a particularly nasty fight the other day that scarred our marriage. I say scarred because the original fight was a cut and it was painful and bleeding and infected and nasty. We put some of the metaphorical neosporin on it and bandaged it up, but there's still a scar there. We'll always remember it. We'll always see it and think about this moment when it all could have gone downhill, but we persevered and it didn't. AND we learned a lesson. Lies cut relationships like knives cut skin.
3. I am depressed. The mood swings, the emotional roller coasters, the mental breakdowns and psychotic irrationality, yeah all the signs are there. I need to get help, but I don't want to. I don't know why I don't want to either. Complete mystery to me. I know I need it. I know it would be good for me, but I don't want to.
4. We got the tax credit. Really awesome. I like having money for a change.
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