Depressed

This is my vent. Don't take anything I write here too seriously. I just got back home from a hard day at work and I'm tired and angry.

My husband is in Kosovo. He's in Europe. He's made friends and got a non paying job to pass the time away in a bar. He's drinking a lot and going to parties and having a lot of fun. The worst he's dealing with is sitting at a boring job and having a little homesickness.

I am paying all our bills, taking care of 5 animals, paying for groceries we can't afford, cleaning the house, taking care of the house, going to work at an underpaid job, and missing him all at the same time. See, this is the funny thing. I don't even care about that shit. I know what I got into when we started this. I knew what I was asking for. I knew that this was coming. I just want some sort of recognition. I just want to hear him say that he's proud. I want to hear a thank you, or something.

Every day I come home from work, exhausted from an 8 hour shift and I still have work to do at home. Why? Why am I doing this? For what? For who? If he doesn't care, or appreciate it? Why am I wasting my energy? I get that this is selfish. I really do, but my birthday is next week and I'm going to do whatever the heck I want to and I deserve that.