I feel like all the progress I have made in the last 6 months has completely disappeared. I am a complete mess. I am nervous and upset and emotional. I miss him more than I ever had and I feel like I'm losing my mind.
I was told this was going to happen. If I remember correctly, during the pre-deployment brief, I was informed that towards the very end of the deployment it would feel just like the beginning. Its the anticipation of his return that gets you all worked up.
Sigh.
That return word again. I feel like it's never coming. It's always just out of reach. I can always see it, but never touch it. Never feel it. Has it really been only seven months. In some ways it feels like less, but in more ways it feels like so much more. I feel like I've always been without him. Like having a husband who lived with me was only a dream. Some other life I once lived.
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